bring me back to life

20.2.12
everything has been changing. ppl has been changing.
college just isn't the same. it is pretty depressing at some point.
to the extend where you'll not have friends who got your back.
but life goes on i suppose. sad to say, i changed too.

so here's my perspective of life.

LIFE. 4 words with possible 4million meanings in 4billion ethnics.
but what does it really mean? what is it really for? what is the purpose of me still living?
well for me, life is a product. it could possibly mean absolutely nothing.
i have life in my own hands. it's either i do something marvelously GREAT with it,
or i could just lay on my bed all day regretting on what i have not sought to
know. i'm a proud Buddhist and i believe in karma. we believe, when u do bad things;
it will might just as well lead you to a bad route.

i've never felt like a bigger bitch than just a few days ago.the day
i broke up with my bf, at that time. i broke up cos,
i couldn't tolerate him any longer. it's not that he was a bad bf till
i somehow just couldn't tolerate. but i changed. college changed me.
he was the sweetest and nicest i've had so far. sad to say, he wasn't mine.
when u have come to my stage in life..you'd realize that not everything goes as planned.
and not everyone are meant to be or could be together.  its just like..not every cloud rains,
not every skies are blue, not every seedling blooms into a flower. 

life has it's ups and downs, like a mountain. when bad things starts
to accumulate, you only know that good things are bound to happen.
this blog is dedicated to him especially. i'm just stopping here to apologize to you
for what i did. it wasn't your fault. your a great boyfriend, even one of the
sweetest. but trust me when i say i'm not the one. i would know. you're good looking,
you're young..just get over a bitch like me and move on. u will definitely find
the perfect one and only. i have my faith in you. and that girl, will be one hell of
a lucky chick. if she doesn't appreciate it. take a step back and move on again.
cos that's what life is, it doesn't determine your future but if u put
in enough effort and pain. it could just incorporate where u will end up.
i wish u all the best. and i am truly sorry. i never meant to hurt you.
but i did it for both of us. no other guys no other mixed feelings. just the
fact the we are not the right fit. like 2 pieces of a puzzle.
unfortunately, me and u aren't even the same picture of the puzzle.
thanks for your time and effort. you deserve the best, and she is out there.
take care <3


.xxoo.
.CrystaL.